Ode to my Beard



Trying to capture our last moments together :')

Oh beard of mine upon my face

Pencils inside of you, I would place

Beautiful red hair in the sun was a-shinin'

Inside you dwarfs would go a-minin'

You, the best wingman there ever could be

Endless amounts of women became attracted to me

To stroke you I would give anything

And with you I don't need no bling

There is none like you

You're better than the pokemon Mew

Like you there is no other

You're my brother from another mother

I always held you oh so near-d

You're my true love, my friend, my beard.

5 Things I Wish I Could Tell Women

1. LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS

L.A.P.S.(Leggings As Pants Syndrome) is an epidemic spreading across the nation infecting teenage and college women. So hopefully I can clear up a few things that girls might not know. Leggings should not be worn as pants and they were not made to be worn as pants. I understand how comfortable they seem but some people do not want to see how much you can accentuate your butt. Honestly, when a girl wears leggings it looks like you're completely bottomless and just spray painted black from your waist down. Secondly, it is my understanding that some girls wear leggings to obtain a guys attention. However, do you really want the attention from a guy who just wants to get you in bed or walks directly behid you to look at your butt? I hope not.

With all of this being said, leggings can be worn at time. Think of leggins as a sort of accessory for your legs. Leggings are meant to be layered under something. They can look super cute under a short/long skirt, a dress, or long shirt. So I understand that L.A.P.S. is taking control of our young women but if we stand together we can fight it.

2. Breasts Attract the Rest

What I mean by this is that showing off your cleavage tends to attract the kind of boys that you would not want to be in a long relationship with. A girl should not have to push her boobs out of her shirt to get attention from guys. Plus, would you want to take the guy that's attracted to your breasts and not you home to meet your parents? I hope not. If a guy dates you for your breasts then he's not right for you. Relationships are not all about looks and sexual desires. That is why the divorce rate in America is so high right now, couples became attracted to the significant other sexually and to who that person is. So for every guys sake, please cover up. We know you have boobs, you don't have to show us.

3. Be Yourself

Do not try to act like you think a guy wants you to be. A girl should never have to change who she is for a guy to fall in love with her. If a guy does not fall in love with who your truly are then they are not the right guy for you. Plus, what do you think will happen if you change who you appear to be to attract a guy and then as you start dating you revert to your old self. It will never work out. Allow yourself to be ok with who you are and allow a guy to love that person and I promise that you will find exactly who you are supposed to be.

4. Let The Boy Be A Man

You are a lady and he is supposed to be the gentleman, let him be. Too many times have I seen girls of my generation become offended when a guy tries to open the door or help them into a car. He is not showing you that you are inferior, he is just showing you how much he cares. So next time you are on a date, allow the guy to pay for your meal, open the door, and pull out your chair for you.

Secondly, the guy should want to do all of these things for you. If he's not a gentleman then he's not right for you. Some friends of my family take this quite seriously. In fact, if the husband does not open his wifes car door for her then she will stay in the car until he comes back to get her. I am only saying this so that you know what you should expect from the perfect guy.

5. Patience Is A Virtue...

When looking for the perfect mate, please do not rush into anything. You will only end up hurt in the end. Do not jump on the first guy that looks like Ryan Reynolds because you are in want of love. The right guy will come along when he is supposed to. If you rush into a relationship with someone else then you might just miss him. Secondly, sometimes you should listen to your girlfriends when they say you do not work with that guy. They can see things that maybe you are just blocking out.

So let the right guy come along and I promise, you will be happy.

P.S. I'm single ladies ;)

-Bearded Harmony

A Brand New World

What the Hemann's family seemed
like to me once I entered their house.

This past weekend was Easter, in which I had from Thursday to Monday off from school. While most students went off to their own homes, I went home with one of my friends to her house in Illinois and stayed with her family (In order protect their identity from the government I'll call them the Hemann's). Now as we left Wednesday afternoon I had no clue what adventures awaited me in Illinois. I had no idea that I was entering into...a brand new world.



The Hemann house hold is made up of a mom, a dad, and 8 siblings ranging from 20 to 3 years old. Instead of being the youngest at my house, I immediately made the jump to the oldest at their house (of the kids). Now the main difference that I discovered of my family celebrating Easter versus their family is that my family, being all adults, like to enjoy huge family naps in which each person heads to a different part of the house and takes a nap. They do not nap...Ever. They also do not sleep past nine. Each morning the three year old would walk up to my bed, poke my face, and say "Josh wake up" until I got up. She's so adorable, however, that I would rather take her back to school with me than get upset. That is, however, the one aspect of my vacation that would have stayed the same. If I was at home and tried to sleep in, one of my sisters would come into my room and jump on me or my dad would throw the dog at my face.

As I wandered around the Hemann household as balls were being kicked, action figure fairies were being thrown into the air, and screaming kids vied for my attention  there were a few things I learned. That there will never be a shortage of the phrase "MOM!!!" being screamed by a kid, you will constantly hear "He's your son!!!" being yelled from a parent, and wine is like the penicillin of moms with big families, it's the best cure once the children are put to bed.

This weekend taught me something. That parents are like super heroes. Because after the 500th peanut butter sandwhich made, the 500th "Mom, he hit me", or 500th day in a row someone doesn't want to go to bed, it takes a super hero to not just snap and say "Make your own darn sandwhich if you don't like my cooking." So next time you see your mom or dad say, "I appreciate you" right before asking them to make you a sandwhich. Then write a blog about it and maybe they'll buy you a car ;)

-Bearded Harmon

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."
Ephesians 6:1

Nay followed by YAY!!!

"Earth's saddest day and gladdest day were just three days apart."
-Susan Coolidge


Have you ever realized that even though the world has such an intense contempt for Catholics, it is because of us that we have three of the biggest and largely celebrated holidays. They are all just holidays with Catholic origins that the world has completely twisted around in order to make some monitary gain from it. So if you really think about it, Catholics are a the main reason for the huge influx of income especially around Christmas. That's something for you to chew on.

Now right now I am sitting in the complete dark while my roomate is snoring above me and for some reason I cannot sleep at all. I started reading passages from the bible of The Last Supper and immediately stopped once Judas had dipped his bread into the same cup Jesus dipped His into. You know the one where Jesus says he will be betrayed by the one who dips into the same cup as Him. The disciples become appalled and each deny that they will betray Him. Then all of sudden Judas dips into the same cup as Jesus. Whoa, SPOILERS!!! Jesus then tells him to do what he must do and Judas leaves. Then the most astonishing thing happens. The apostles actually wonder where he is going and what he is supposed to do. Were all they all blinking at the exact time Judas dipped with Jesus. How did they not see that??? Jesus just should have said, "The man whose name is Judas will betray me." At that point the apostles will start asking eachother if their name was Judas. This whole thing made me laugh a little but and I kind of wish I was there to see it all go down. My second thought was that the disciples must have had such an immense rush of emotions that week. I mean, first off, their savior whom they had followed for about three years is killed in one of the gruesome ways possible right in front of them. Then a few days later He is no longer in His tomb and He appears before them in a locked room. Talk about doing a complete 180. First they are completely devestated and all of a sudden they are filled with an intense joy. That emotional roller coaster must have been worse than a teenage girl.

So after chuckling quietly to myself, as to not wake up my roomate, I started reflecting on Holy Week and what this entire week means. Just as Jesus used the week leading up to His death to make his final preparations for Himself and His apostles, we also need to use this week to prepare ourselves and our souls. We should spend this week deep in prayer reflecting on how Jesus has worked in our lives and how His sacrifice has affected our lives. Before Jesus gave His own life to save ours, we were like the thieves that were dying with Him. But as He was put onto that cross He gave us the choice to be like the thief who repented and ultimately was saved on his dying breath. We must use this week to repent for all of our sins.

Right now close your eyes and go back 2,000 years to Good Friday. Pretend you are in that crowd of people that are persecuting Jesus and repeatedly yelling "Crucify Him!!!" If one of those people came up to you and asked if you were a follower of Christ would you be like Peter and deny Him or would you proudly say "Yes, I am a follower of Jesus Christ and I will follow Him anywhere, even to my death." Would you really say that? Because, to be honest, I do not know if I would have the guts to say I would be willing to die for Him. I like living, alot. Now you are staring at Him as He is being nailed to the cross. You can see His pain as blood and sweat run down his face. You realize that you are the reason He is up there and you do not know whether or not to feel completely loved by Him or ashamed for causing His pain. Maybe if you had converted more people or been a better person early on His life would not be draining out of His body before your eyes. Now it is Saturday and you had laid Jesus to rest in His tomb the day before. What is going through your mind and what do you think was going through the mind of the apostles as they locked themselves, scared, into that small house. Would you be thinking of revenge against the state or would you want to continue Christ's ministry that He started. You still cannot get that image of a bloody and tortured man out of your head. It is now Sunday and you have just recieved news that Mary had found the tomb empty and that Jesus was gone. What would your first thought be? Would you believe Jesus has actually conqued death and risen from the grave or would you side with Thomas needing proof that He is alive. After all, Jesus did raise Lazarus from the dead, why couldn't He do that to himself. When Jesus entered into the room filled with disciples what would be the first thing you would say to Him. I don't know about you, but I think the first words out of my mouth would be, "I'm sorry." And at that point He would hold me close and say "You have been forgiven. Did you not see that whole thing with the cross and being crucified? It was a very long and extremely painful process. I wouldn't go through all that for nothing, only for my Father's greatest creations :)"

So as you prepare yourselves for this week and for the last three days, just remember who died for you and why He died. Try to go to confession sometime this week and if you have a difficult time trying to go, just remember that all you have to do is tell someone what you did and be sorry. You do not need to die for them, someone already did that for you.

-Bearded Harmony

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead."
-1 Peter 1:3