The Dentist's office. Just saying it gives you chills through your entire body and an innate sense of fear. But have you ever wondered why the profession of Dentistry scares us so much? It's because it was created by the government to perform a number of experiments on humans as well as many other things. Well in this blog I will list five reasons as to what and why the government has created this horrific profession.
1. Waste of time
Have you ever been in the middle of something terribly important when all of a sudden you realize that you have a dentist appointment that you must attend? I did, two days ago. I was watching the Americans womans water polo quaterfinal match. It was the most exciting match I had ever seen and it was going into overtime when, what do you know...I have a dental appointment. Only an evil group of doctors and government officials would ever do something so dastardly as pull me away from a womans water polo match, nonetheless such an exciting one.
2. They are testing our trust
In years past the government has realized how trusting us Americans actually are, and to make sure that this trust does not diminish and to test how far our trust can spread they send us to the dentist. They start out with looking inside our mouth and as long as we do not stop them they move on to poking around our mouth with sharp little daggars. This just shows how dumb we are that we will let a complete stranger that we hardly know stick a little knife into our mouths and we actually pay them for it.
3. Testing a new language
Have you wondered why the dentist will put their hands inside your mouth and then start asking you questions about your life and all you can say is, "mmph muph nhadjklhafkl;gha;lsdhjkgads;ga"? That is a new language that they are creating because they believe that in the future we will all be gagged from birth to death.
4. Make us feel incredibly awkward
When you lay down in the dentist chair and they start prodding inside your mouth, where do you look? If you are forced to into their eyes then you are not alone. They do this for two reasons, to make us feel incredibly awkward and mind control. They believe that if we rise up and fight the communist regime of dentistry then they will be able to squelch it by making us look into their eyes.
5. They are slowly killing us...and more mind control
When they put their x-ray machine right next to our face have you wondered why they only give us a a flimsy bib while they stand on the other side of three feet of concrete or in another state? It is because they are trying to control our minds and sway our decisions. Unfortunately for us they had never been quite successful at this until approximately four years ago at the beginning of April 2008. Finally, the government is trying to slowly kill us by shooting our brains with rays. Our minds are melting and I will not stand for this anymore, and if you have any decency neither will you. That was one of the most exciting water polo match and I missed the overtime!!! I will never get that overtime back!!! (yes, that's really what this is all about)
-Bearded Harmony
Oh Josh!
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